My head screamed as my brain ached and my ears rang. I opened my eyes and I couldn’t believe what I saw. I was in my old driveway, just outside of my childhood home.
What was left of it. The neighborhood around the home was nothing like what I remembered. The landscape appeared to have been eradicated, just like the vehicle I found myself in. It was rusted and beat to shit, like it had managed to survive the war but not without its fair share of war scars.
When I climbed out of the car, slowly stumbling due to the intense pain shooting through my body, from my head to my toes, I realized the car was my first vehicle. And just like the house, it was only what was left of it.
Dust blew in the wind, which only seemed to be getting worse. I slowly made my way toward the house when I heard a voice calling out to me despite the heavy wind. It was coming from in front of me and as I looked in that direction I saw Jayden standing in the doorway, motioning for me to hurry. I nodded and started to trudge along, my feet getting heavier with each step until I finally fell to the ground. The pain was much worse than it would have been normally. I looked up to see Jayden being pulled into the house by some unseen force. I used what strength I had to push myself up, only to collapse once again. I tried once again, only for things to feel a little easier, as if someone was carrying me. I looked to my right to find none other than James Evans helping me to my feet.
“James?”
He nodded, “Yes.”
“Why are you here?”
He walked me over to the house and helped me up the steps. He stood me up straight and dusted me off before replying, “I’m here because you see me as someone who emerged from the shadows, someone who has become good despite all the evil I’ve done, unlike you. You can’t escape your own Hell.”
I looked around before locking eyes with him again, “Is this it?”
James nodded, “Yes.”
“How do I get out of here? Can I return home?”
James lowered his gaze and shook his head, “I’m not sure it’s possible. This isn’t a place filled with hope, Josh.”
I looked away from him and at the open door, peering into the dilapidated house, “Where is Jayden?”
“He’s at the end.”
“What is the end?”
“Just beyond the nine circles,” James said, motioning to the inside of the house with a tilt of his head, “This is the first.”
“What do you mean,” I asked.
“The first circle. You are in a state of limbo. This is where you make the choice to either step beyond this threshold,” he said pointing at the door, “Or you can remain out here where you’ll be tormented by things such as not knowing the fate of your son.”
“What are you trying to tell me, James? Don’t speak to me in riddles,” I hissed.
“Your son, Jayden...he can be saved. He can be deemed as pure once again. But the choice is yours. It’s free will. We here in Hell relish in that idea.”
I stood there, staring at the doorway, slightly intimidated but then I thought about Jayden and wondered what was happening to him. I looked at James, releasing a deep breath before entering. Upon entry, the door slammed behind me. The house it moved, as the sounds of snapping wood boomed in my ears so loud it brought me to my knees. Covering my ears, doing all that I can to block out the sound, I watched as the guts of the house changed shape, growing longer and wider. The stairs turning into levels, a door appearing before me. I looked around and rose to my feet, uncovering my ears as everything became still. I took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside.
I found myself in some hotel room. Music played. The room was filled with a very family smell. The floor was littered with woman’s clothing. From behind me I heard a voice speak to me, a voice that I didn’t want to hear again as it said, “Well there you are. I’ve been waiting for you all night. What kept you?”
I slowly turned to see Regan standing nude in the doorway of the bathroom. She gazed at me, longingly like she craved me, her eyes staring at me in seduction, “Why are you looking at me like that? This is what you wanted? I’m going to finally be yours, baby.”
I felt tingling in my body as I stared her up and down, my mind among other things feeling drawn to her. My feet moved one in front of the other, bringing me closer to her as she spread her arms open, welcoming me, “Come to me baby. Come to me,” Regan said as I edged closer.
And then I stopped, backing away, shaking my head, “I can’t,” I said, trying my best not to look at her.
“And why not…” Regan replied, her words filled with anger, “I left that piece of shit David so you could have me. Are you telling me that I’ve thrown it all away and you’re not going to give yourself to me? What are you? A fucking coward…”
I shook my head, “I’m not a coward, Regan. I’ve lost so much over this. We agreed I needed to step away and I have.”
She glared at me and shook her head before walking towards me, pressing her body against mine,”But here you are. Seeing me the way you’ve always wanted to see me. Now you can have this. All of me,” she said with a carnal smirk, “Any way that you want…”
Before I could say anything, our lips met. I gripped her thighs and everything else as tightly as I could. Then, the windows around the room burst, glass being blown everywhere by the violent wind. It tore Regan and I apart then shoved us back together again. It occurred over and over, the glass cutting us more and more each time. Regan was blown toward me but I managed to dodge her, dropping to the floor. I saw another door appear in the center of the wall and I began to military crawl towards as the wind and glass rushed over me.
“Where are you going?” I heard Regan shout, “You can’t leave me here...you belong here with me…”
I didn’t stop until I reached the door, reaching up and grabbing the handle. I twisted it and the door opened. I began pulling myself out of the room and into another, away from the debris, away from Regan. I landed in the other room, laying on my back as I caught one last glimpse of Regan, she reached out to me and screamed at me before bursting into flames as the door slammed shut.
I pushed myself away from the door, edging away as much as I could only to feel my hands touch something. It felt like slush. And then I heard the sounds of glass hitting the ground. I slowly turned to find myself looking at a living room setting, a man on the couch, chugging down beer after beer before tossing the bottles down, into the slush. The trash slowly moved towards me, the smell was God awful. I managed to push myself up, getting to my feet before stumbling towards the man. There was a chair in front of him which I used as a spot to rest. The man lifted a bottle towards me and then I saw his eyes, revealing his identity to me.
He was my father. I grinded my teeth as I reached up and knocked the bottle away, knocking it to the floor, “You son of a bitch…”
He looked at me curiously before a wild grin appeared on his face, “There he is. My pride and joy,” he stated with a slight snicker, “Welcome home…”
“This isn’t my home,” I coldly replied.
“But it is son. It has always been your home. You’re just now seeing it.”
“This is Hell, you bastard! I should have known you would be here.”
He leaned back in his chair and threw his head back as he released a maniacal laugh, “Well of course I’d be here! Why wouldn’t I be here? You’ve got the best parts of me. And you’ve been putting it to good use. I saw that Bree cunt you were fucking. What a woman. Shame you fucked it up. I guess you got that from me too,” he said with another laugh.
“I’m not you. Stop saying that,” I said, slowly grinding my teeth together, as icy rain began to fall around us. I looked down to see the slush slowly beginning to rise.
“But you are. You live in a sea of what turns out to be pointless pussy while I lived in a sea of bottles. We know it’s not right but we do it anyway because deep down, we fucking love it,” my father stated with another cackle.
The slush continued to rise as the icy rain barreled down on us. I glared at my father. I wanted to hit him over and over but I also saw another door appear on the opposite side of the room.
“How fitting would it be for us to drown in our sins together?” He asked behind a toothy grin.
I fought to push myself off of the chair, “I’m not going to drown. Not now, not ever.”
“You’re going to drown, boy. Here, there...now or later...no reason to run. You can’t fight the inevitable,” he said but I ignored his words as I forced my way through the rain and rising slush, reaching for the door and bursting through into the next room.
“Welcome, Josh…” I heard a voice say. I rolled over onto my stomach, locking eyes with none other than Mr. D. He was seated at a desk, it appeared we were in his office, “So you want to cash in your contract?”
I stared at him confused as I climbed to my feet, “What are you talking about?”
“Your Trios contract, of course…” he said with a grin, exposing fangs.
I was back in my meeting with him from weeks ago. A night that changed a lot for me as well as those involved with me. I looked down, asking myself if I wanted to say yes, telling myself that maybe things would change if I said no but Mr. D spoke once again, breaking me from my thoughts, “Don’t go back on your word, Josh…You know you want to say yes. Just say it.”
I took a few steps closer, “Why should I?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” He said as he leaned forward in his seat, “You know that you want that one last run at the top. You know that I’m not going to just put you there. Hell, you’re old and past your prime. You’re not fucking marketable. That contract is your saving grace…”
“It’ll cost me everything…”
“It’s not like you’ve ever really had anything to begin with, Josh…”
I shook my head and let out a chuckle, “But I’ve already cashed in my contract. You know that. So, why am I really here, Oleska?”
He leaned back in his chair after pouring himself some scotch, “You’re here because you are a greedy son of a bitch, Josh. Think about it. Everyone you have stabbed in the back to satisfy your own needs. Hood, James, Davis...the list goes on and on. With you dying, there was no other place truly for you except for here,” he said, giving me a wink.
“And where does my son fit into all of this? He doesn’t belong here. I get that I do but he doesn’t.”
He shrugged, “Your boy was very close to losing that purity of his, to say the least. That bought his ticket here.”
“How can I save him?”
He threw his head back and laughed, “Oh that is rich, Josh! How can you...of all people...save anyone? Why would you want to do that when it is so much easier to give into that greedy side of yours?”
“Because he is my son!” I shouted as I stomped closer towards him, clenching my fists as my anger rose. I went to strike him but as my fist went to connect, a door popped up between us and it opened, causing me to fall inside of another room. I tried to scramble back to get Mr. D but the door closed, leaving me in the new room. I rose to my feet when something caught my eye.
I saw images of me putting my father through the wall at my mother’s shortly after her death. The sight of it sent the anger coursing through my body. I saw another image of me stomping the back of Xander’s head out of pure rage. Image upon image flashed before me. I yelled for them to stop but they didn’t. Not until I heard another voice, “Do you see it, Josh?”
I turned to find a man squatting in the shadows, his head down as a faint red light shined down upon him. I squinted, slowly making out who the man was, “Hood?” I said, not believing my eyes. My mentor, Psycho Hood, had been dead for nearly a decade, “Why are you here?”
He climbed to his feet and scratched his beard as Hood walked towards me, “I asked you a question, Josh? Do you see it? Do...you…?”
I shrugged my shoulders feeling slightly bewildered, “See what? I’m really fucking sick of these riddles!” I shouted.
Hood finally stepped into view, where I could actually make out that it was truly him. His body was riddled with scars from every fight he encountered in his life inside and out of the realm of being an athlete. His left eye was still permanently damaged from the last fight we have ever had against one another. I had hit him with a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. The wire got caught in his eye and with me being someone who cared not for the well-being of others, I ripped it out, causing irreparable damage.
He cleared his throat as he replied, “Then it just goes to show that you are still blinded by your own anger. That is why you are here. That is why this Hell exists.”
“I thought it was due to my greed,” I said, remembering the conversation with Mr. D right before I arrived in this room.
Hood sighed, and ran his hand over his scarred bald head, “Greed is part of it. Your anger causes you to be violent, which you will see if you continue your journey. It also ties in with your greed, as your anger makes you greedy.”
“And how is that if you don’t mind me asking?”
“You strive to hurt people, not giving a damn about their well-being,” he said, pointing to his eye, as well as other scars littered around his body, “You feed your greed by hurting and destroying others.”
I went to reply, but I quickly realized that I had nothing to say. No way to justify it. It was simply the truth, all the way around. I knew there was no denying it. I looked down at my feet for a moment or two, nodding my head before looking back up, “So, is this the part where you try to convince me to give into my anger?”
Hood shook his head, which surprised me, “Your anger is always there. It is like your God. Always around, seeing and hearing everything. It lives within you, therefore it is truly part of who you are. I am here to show you,” he said, pointing at the images as they continued to flash all around us, like a movie on a projector.
Just then another door appeared behind Hood. I looked at it then at him, “Should I even go forward? Should I step inside the next room? I don’t need to see all of the terrible things I’ve done on a never ending loop. I know what I’ve done. I remember those things daily.”
Hood smirked, “That is the thing. This is your Hell. The terrible things you have done...you are to relive those things for the rest of eternity, Josh. That is your torture.”
I said nothing else. I simply nodded before brushing by him, opening the door, and stepping inside. I found myself on a flight of stairs, but instead of going up or down, the stairs were going straight and then around, twisting in the middle. They were hidden in shadows, except with a light at the very end. I saw someone carrying an axe, while someone else was placed in a guillotine. The first figure swung the axe, beheading the other. I then watched as the head grew once again, only to be taken off by the swing of the axe. This repeated itself as I started to get closer. The closer I got, the more things became clear. The figure holding and swinging the axe was another figure of my past.
Xander Valentine.
I got a little closer and I could make out who his victim was. I dropped to my knees as the axe swung, removing her head. The head of my ex-wife.
“Rachel,” I called out, but my voice could only muster up a whisper. I watched as her head grew once more. I heard Xander chuckle, which was followed by her screams, which was followed by the sound of the axe slicing through the air then slicing through her neck. I climbed to my knees, regaining some strength as I slowly began to trudge towards them. Her head returned and Xander lifted the axe as I managed to shout, “Xander! Stop!”
That distracted him. Xander slowly turned to me, and I locked eyes with his glowing blue and white eyes, seeing the sinister grin on his face, “I cannot stop, for it is my job as my Lord’s Executioner. I cannot stop, for it is my job to carry out your torture.”
I reached Xander, my body feeling as if it was starting to break down, “How are you torturing me by killing her over and over?”
His grin grew wider, exposing fangs, as he said, “Simple. You never cared that you hurt her while you were alive. Your actions caused her to die a little on the inside, every single day. Now, you get to see her die over and over and over. For the rest of eternity,” With that, Xander turned around, proceeding to swing his axe. I tried to tackle him, but he extended his leg, kicking me in the chest, knocking me off of the stairwell, as I fell into a sea of dark. The last thing I saw was him behead Rachel once again, before my body turned, facing the pit of darkness as an open door appeared before me and I continued to fall.
I landed hard on the ground below. Pain ran through my body, pain I had never experienced before. As I slowly pushed myself to my feet, images began to appear all around me. I saw images of me spending time with my other son, Alex. Images of me kissing Trish from years ago. Images of me standing across from Rachel as we married in Times Square on New Year’s Eve a few years back. Images of me shaking hands with James. Image upon image made up the room around me, and then I heard a slow clap come from behind me.
I turned and looked as a figure appeared from in between the images, getting closer and closer. The closer it got, the more I was able to see who it was.
“David...David Dudley…” I said.
“Congratulations Josh,” he said with a slight snicker, “You are getting exactly what you deserve.”
“Fuck you, David.”
He released another snicker, “Oh, Josh you have fucked me as well as everyone else you have ever known. You tell us one thing then do another. You are nothing more than a fraud. Look at these images,” David said, pointing the images appearing on the walls, “Everyone you have told you loved, only for the truth to be that you were lying when you uttered those words.”
I shook my head, “No! You’re the liar! You’re the fraud!” I shouted, “I love my son, Alex. I loved Trish. I loved Rachel no matter what you, or anyone else has told me.”
David laughed and shook his head then, “And what of our friendship? You helped break me into the business, promising me this and promising me that...only to take it all for yourself. And then...and then,” he said as he lifted his arm, “The last time we saw one another...you broke my arm...taking everything from me, making sure that all of your promises would remain forever broken,” And then the bone in his arm snapped, breaking through the skin, as David laughed some more.
I went to speak but he cut me off, as his laughter ceased and we locked eyes. His eyes glowed red as he hissed, “And now...you will pay for your treachery…” Before I could do anything, I was yanked back by an unseen force. My hands and feet were placed in shackles before the room went completely dark.
“Come on!” I shouted, shaking my fists as much as I could, “Come on you son of a bitch!”
And then, the lights returned, revealing figures wearing red robes and white masks, looking like demonic birds. All at once, their hands lifted up, revealing knives. I cursed at them, knowing what was about to happen, as they proceeded to run the gauntlet. One by one, they revealed themselves to me, before driving their blade into my abdomen, the pain sinking deeper in my body then their blades.
I saw James. Davis. Hood. Xander. Rachel. Sienna. Glacier. CHBK. Alex. Trish. Regan. Bree. Each of them stabbing me after revealing how I had hurt them. David appeared and grinned as he sank the blade in. I roared in agony and pain, wishing for death but knowing it would never happen. And then they all stopped. I caught my breath in between my own suffering as I looked up. My eyes locking with his.
I opened my mouth and coughed blood as I gasped, “Jayden….”
David and Davis walked over to me, breaking me free of the shackles before dragging me closer to Jayden, who glared at me as he held the blade. David spoke to him, “Deliver the final blow, son. Make him pay for all of the years he was never there. For all of the years he was going to be a terrible father to you and treat like the shit on his shoe,” he said with a hiss. I shook my head, weakly, telling myself that I needed to do something. Jayden was still pure, I told myself. Jayden was still pure. This repeated over and over in my head, the words giving me strength as I managed to break free of Davis and David’ grip, shoving them back before grabbing Jayden’s wrist just in time as he tried to stab me. I grabbed the blade from him before dropping to my knees, growing weak once more.
I locked eyes with Jayden, slowly shaking my head as I lifted the blade. Slashing it across my wrists, I whispered, “This place isn’t for you. It is for me…” I gasped for air before speaking once again, “You will stay pure…”
My hands dropped as a liquid ran from my wrists. I looked down and saw it wasn’t blood. It was bile. It reached Jayden’s feet as he looked at me, like the rest of them, before they suddenly vanished. I was all alone, in the darkness, just as I had always thought I would be. My eyes closed for a few moments, until I heard a faint voice as it said, “Not yet…” This repeated until it became a booming sound in my ears. My eyes opened as I saw every image I had seen before they exploded, breaking into glass. The glass floated in slow motion, parting in opposite directions as I saw a figure making its way towards me.
It grew closer and closer as the name barely escaped my lips, “Amber…” I sighed, “I should have known it’d be you...My Devil…”
She appeared in all white, except for her hands and feet, which were covered in the sludge I had nearly drowned in while in the room with my father, “You should have known I would have come for you eventually…”
I replied, weakly, “What took you so long…”
She shrugged, “I was waiting for you to be at your weakest, Josh and here you are...You sped things up a bit but no matter…”
I sighed, “So now what?”
Amber grinned, exposing fangs as well as she stared at me with glee, “It is time that I collect your soul...I would have come to Earth, that piece of shit, to claim you. I thank the fuck upstairs for those birds for delivering you to me...This is just the start of things to by the way, Josh. I have built a fucking theme park...all of it for you...It will be beautiful...at least in my image…” she said, giving a chuckle, before grabbing my leg and proceeding to slowly drag me into the darkness.
I didn’t fight. I let it happen, feeling weaker and weaker with each passing moment, as I asked, “What about my son…”
“What of him?”
I whispered, “He is still pure…”
And then she stopped. Amber turned and faced me, glaring at me with flames in her eyes, “He is what?”
I spoke again, “He is...still...pure…” As the words escaped my mouth, the darkness above me opened, a light began to shine down upon me. I felt warmth and it was calming. Peaceful. I slowly began to rise towards it, only to feel a hand grip my ankle.
I heard Amber shout, “No!” She began to pull me back down. I felt my body being jerked up and down, forwards and backwards, caught between the light and the dark…
And then, I woke up. I was back in my locker room. I looked around, startled trying to gain my bearings. I gasped as I pinched myself, feeling pain, feeling alive. I ran into my bathroom and vomited. I walked over to my sink and splashed water onto my face repeatedly as I caught my breath. I looked into my reflection and I remembered the conversations with Jayden, where he had asked me about his mother. I nodded, telling myself that I needed to tell him the truth.
That I had to tell him.
A knock came at my door. I opened it to find Beard standing there. It all felt like deja vu. I looked at him, as he stared back at me strangely, “Have you already spoken with Gio?” He asked.
“No,” I said, shaking my head.
“Oh,” he replied, “You look like you’ve been high as fuck, bruh...Well,” he shrugged, “He said he would…”
I cut him off, “Fuck off,” I said before closing the door in his face. I grabbed my bags then my cell and called Jayden. He answered, “Where are you?” I asked.
He scoffed, “Back at the hotel, dad. Like you told me to. I listen to you, unlike you do with me,” he said. I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing he was right.
“Alright, I am on my way. We will talk when I get there. If you still want to, that is…” I replied.
“Nah, I’m good. Kristen ordered room service. I ate a lot and I just want to sleep. I don’t really feel like talking right now,” he said, with a sigh. I knew he wanted to but told myself that maybe it was best to give him some space right now.
I nodded as I responded, “Alright that’s fine. Will you tell Kristen I’m on my way?”
“Yeah sure,” he said. Before I could say anything else, he hung up. I let it be as I made my way out of the arena, looking all around for the goddamn Beauty Factory before getting in my rental and heading towards the hotel. I told myself it was all a dream. Instead of a private jet, I was just heading to the hotel, which I was thankful for. After the dream, I needed to rest in an actual bed. The dream, I told myself, felt so fucking real. I couldn’t shake it no matter what it was.
I arrived at the hotel, and stepped inside of the luxury suite, dropping my bag at the door. I saw Kristen, a former student at my wrestling school who had recently graduated, sitting in the living room area, on the couch, eating strawberries dipped in chocolate, “Josh Hudson,” she said with that seductive smirk she always had, that would always drive me wild even when she was nothing more than a student of mine.
“Kristen Rae,” I said as I approached her, taking a seat next to her on on the couch, releasing a sigh as I stared at the ceiling.
“You look like shit,” I heard her say.
I let out a chuckle, “You have no idea.”
She wore a robe and nothing else, which I realized as she climbed on top of me, kissing me and biting my lip before gazing down at me, “What can I do to make you feel better?”
I smirked, “I can think of many things but,” I said as I grabbed her ass, lifting her off of me, “I’m not in the mood right now.”
She stuck out her bottom lip, giving me that pouting look, “What is the fun in that?”
I sighed before proceeding to tell her about my dream. I told her every single detail and how it felt so real. As I told her about the portion of the dream where Jayden was preparing to stab me, only for me take the blade from him and harm myself, I felt something I had not felt in quite some time.
It was a tear falling down my face. I proceeded to tell her about seeing Amber as the Devil, explaining to her who Amber was to me. Before I knew it, I told her what I had done to Amber, what I had done to Jayden the night I went to see them all those months back. As the words poured out of me, so did the tears. She looked at me in shock before I collapsed into her arms. I could tell she was resistant at first, but slowly wrapped her arms around me, holding me close as I wept for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The tears were filled with my anger, my lust, my greed, the violence, my guilt...all of it flooded from me until sleep finally took over.
The dream returned to me as I slept, eventually causing me to wake up in a cold sweat, just as I did in the locker room. I woke up in bed, next to Kristen. There was part of me who that was surprised she had stayed after all I had told her. She woke up to check on me but I reassured I was fine and just needed something to drink. I lied next to her, holding her in my arms, feeling something I don’t think I ever did with Rachel before Kristen went back to sleep. I made my way into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Jack and a glass with two ice cubes, making myself a drink. I downed it quickly then had another before my eyes looked towards Jayden’s room.
I made my way over, slowly opening the door and stepping inside. Seeing him resting so peacefully reminded me of him being in a coma, the coma I had put him in due to my anger and my greed. I sighed and nodded before grabbing a chair from the dining room area, telling myself it was time, that I couldn’t hold off any longer. I sat down next to his bed and gently shook Jayden, “Jayden...Jayden, wake up bud…”
He groaned as his eyes slowly opened, “What Dad? I’m trying to sleep…”
I nodded, “I know you are but we really need to talk...I want to tell you about your mom…”
He groaned again as Jayden sat up in his bed. We sat in silence, both of us looking down at anything and everything besides one another, before he finally spoke, “Tell me...tell me everything.”
And I did. I told him everything. I admitted to being angry as his mother. I admitted to her attacking me only for me to defend myself. I told him how he tried to intervene, telling him that it was just as I did when my father was hurting my mother. I admitted to knocking Jayden down the stairs. I told him it was an accident but it never should have happened. As my story progressed, the worse he looked as he stared down at his hands, which I noticed as he ran his thumbs in circles.
I admitted to having Amber committed to an insane asylum and what I had done to her there, before gasping for air as I said, “Jayden...I understand if you tell anyone this. I understand what that would mean but I can’t lie to you anymore. I just can’t…” I said, before looking down. I ran my hands over my face numerous times, before finally looking back at Jayden who leaned over and hugged me. I didn’t expect it at first, but then he spoke, uttering two words I didn’t think I would hear after such a confession.
He said, “Thank you…”
“For what?” I gasped.
“You…” his voice trailed off. I told him it was okay. That he could tell me anything. He caught his breath before continuing, “You...you saved me…”
Our hug ended as he leaned back. With tears in his eyes, he recounted a tale of horror, a tale I never expected to hear. He told me things that reminded me of my own childhood. He told me how Amber had tortured him, locking him in a closet, blaming him for her failed relationships with Davis and I. How she would beat him when Davis was on the road, traveling to shows. How she would starve him and lock him out of the house. How he wanted to tell Davis, to tell anyone but how he never said a word until because Amber had made Jayden fear for his life.
As his story came to a close, I reached over and grabbed him, bringing him in for a hug. I told him that I was sorry for everything. For the Hell Amber had put him through. That I had put him through. I apologized for hurting him.
“Are you going to hurt me again?” He asked.
I brushed his hair out of his eyes before hugging him once more, “I’m going to try my hardest not to. I’m going to try to be the best father I can be…” Before I could finish, Jayden hugged me tighter. I didn’t say another word. I just told myself that maybe things could be fixed between he and I. That maybe we were actually saving one another. That maybe, despite the damage I had done, that what I had done to Amber was the right thing after all.
____________________________________________________
In the world of professional wrestling, the term relevant gets thrown around a lot. My relevancy in this business has been questioned quite often since I returned early last year. People have made comments about me needing some money because the Legend signings I had done weren’t paying the bills. People have made comments about me teaming up with Regan and Sienna for Past, Present, and Future. And there have been comments about me being part of the past that needs to be erased. Well, I’m going to dish out some words that will be heard loudly, simply because what I speak is…relevant.
I’ve done legend signings and I won’t hide that fact. I couldn’t see the end of the lines when things opened up, because fans of this business wanted to see me and talk with me. That equals to the fact that I’m relevant in this industry. Me teaming with Regan and Sienna brought a much needed dose of legendary star power to that group, because I am relevant. The past that I am part of needs to be erased? It is pretty obvious that the present isn’t getting things done despite its claims, otherwise the SCW wouldn’t need stars of the past, simply because we are…relevant.
If someone threw the term relevancy at Justin Davis, it would be hard to hold weight. Justin Davis is only relevant when he has been involved with me. Must mean I’m relevant in this business. I am a nine time World Champion. I am part of the SCW Hall of Fame. I kept Syren relevant last year as she had become stagnant. I took another legend in CHBK and made him relevant, because no one has given a damn about any of his other matches in years. We know how to tell a story in that ring. We know how to captivate an audience and shake the industry down to its core. We are not carbon copies of anyone. As far as those who’ve come after us, I can’t say the same. Even if I hate CHBK this is something I can’t deny, and that it that our mark on this industry will be forever felt, because we are relevant.
The numerous world championships, plus other accolades, the impact I’ve made on this industry with the superstars I’ve elevated, as well as this company I’ve helped to build from its very foundation, and the fact that I’ve kept this place plus this industry alive…the fact that I got the world talking just as I always have, by simply stating I was going to cash in a Trios Contract…it just shows that all I have to do is step onto the scene and I change everything with the blink of an eye…All of that can be seen as nothing but failure in the eyes of the insecure. No, not the eyes of an angel. In the eyes of the insecure. If you look at things realistically, only I can truly call myself a failure because no one in this company has done what I’ve done in this industry. The only reason I have ever called myself a failure is because I have not lived up to my own expectations and I am always raising the bar higher and higher.
That is exactly what I did when I won my first SCW World Championship FOUR years after arriving in the company. I raised the bar higher than it had ever been. Since ratings have been discussed recently along with relevancy, when I became World Champion for the first time in the SCW, ratings went through the roof. Because I was different. I represented change. The title wasn’t being seen as a prop for Jason Zero or Greg Cherry. It wasn’t being seen as nothing more than a trinket for Chad Evans. It was being held by someone who respected the business and the championship. It was being held by someone who defended it every time he was asked to do so. It was being held by someone who showed up every single week, in every single match. It was held by someone who didn’t do anything to get out of having to defend it, just to keep my reign going longer.
I didn’t come into this company expecting things to be handed to me. I earned my way every step. That resulted in getting my ass kicked here and there, going on losing streaks, scratching and clawing every day, keeping that hunger alive. That resulted in me having to go through Hell in Elimination Chambers and Tactical Warfare matches. Being beaten into submission and shedding blood. When I won that World title, I elevated an entire group of people. I elevated Matt Hodges, Justin Davis, Glacier, Shorty Jr., and even Damian Angel, but according to some people I did nothing while champion. Look at my second reign. I elevated the entire Brotherhood and Justin Davis for the umpteenth time. I didn’t go out of my way to bury my opponents. I did all that I could, despite not being willing to piss on fire to put them out, to make them seem important as well as our matches together.
That’s called knowing how this is done. That is knowing the culture of this business, which is something no one, be it a Devil disguised as an Angel, can tell me about. I’ve inspired the violent kinds and the war machines, the dangerous ones and the thorns. Let’s not leave out the best female wrestler in the world. But then again, I should not have to say any of that, because you’ve been such a fan. You know all about me, apparently. You know that I apparently did nothing for the SCW World Championship any time that I’ve held it. You know that I’ve apparently done nothing for this industry, and then what do you do? You call me an asshole who turned his back on Past, Present, and Future.
Did I hear that correctly, Sienna?
You have made it seem like you know so much about me and my past. If that is the case, then you should know that I don’t play well with others. You should know that I cannot be trusted. It’s not because I’m a greedy person. It’s just because I’m not a people person. I get tired of people very quickly and I want to do things on my own, to do things in my own way. You should know that though. I mean, look at the wars I had with Lethal Weapon after the High Rollers came to an end. Look at what I did to those two clowns from the stable I started called Generation Next. Look at what I did to Glacier and Davis. I get tired of carrying people just as I grow tired of hearing the same bullshit week in and week out. That is where you fit in, little angel.
So either you knew all of this and still chose to be aligned with me or you were just talking out of your ass in one of your many long winded rants. I’ll play it smart and go with option two on that one. It would keep up with the narrative you’ve been presenting, whether you realize it or not. You already said that I wasn’t relevant yet I’ve proven that wrong a few times already. Let’s not forget the fact that for someone who you claim to be irrelevant, you sure as hell couldn’t keep my name out of your mouth while addressing Ace Marshall.
You’ve called me an asshole. I will agree with you on that front. You’re right there. I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. I’ve spun that narrative until I’m blue in the fucking face, Sienna. I’ve proven that notion to be absolute gold throughout the years. If you need a refresher course, which seems to be the case, feel free to talk to any of the names I mentioned recently.
Now if you think I cashed in on you because I wanted to break up our group, then you’re wrong. That had nothing to do it. I know we’ve all had our own little shit storm going on behind the scenes, but that had nothing to do with it. I cashed in for reasons related to the wrestling business. It had nothing to do with me thinking you’re some joke, because I don’t. I was actually quite fucking proud of you when you defeated Kennedy Street for the World Championship. I can admit that. I’m not afraid to. I felt you deserved it after outlasting three former World Champions to earn your shot. I was proud that you earned it instead of continuing your sad sap song of demanding a World title shot.
Do you see what I did there? I praised you, Sienna. Something you struggle to do with any opponent of yours. To you, all of your challengers are clowns out of a bad comedy that need to be lined up and shot down. No, you can’t speak the words, stating that they are a legit threat to you, because you cannot look weak or vulnerable when those cameras are rolling.
That plays into another narrative you’ve written out so beautifully for me to preach to the world. You are fake, Sienna. It has nothing to do with your looks because you are attractive. No one can deny that, but you’re fake in another way. You put up a façade to hide just how fucking insecure that you really are, my little angel.
Listen to what I just said. I mentioned your little comment about your challengers being clowns out of a bad comedy. You think that I’m a clown. That I’m irrelevant. That I am past my prime. That I am clutching to that last morsel of a career that I have left. If that is the case then you will have no problem with defeating me. Hell, the SCW should just consist of you and only you. You could take a page out of Cid Turner’s book and challenge yourself to matches, because you’re apparently the only fucking thing that the SCW needs to stay alive. Everyone else does not matter when being compared to you. I mean, Goddamn, if that is the case then let’s go ahead and close up shop. That would prove you to be nothing more than a cancer, Sienna. You will be no Angel saving SCW. No, you will be the cancer, eating the SCW alive, killing it until there is nothing left.
I know that I have harsh words for my opponents in the past, but I know that they have a chance to beat me. I tell them that. I tell them that they are going to have to fucking earn a win over me. And I stand by it. My skills in the ring showcase that, putting it on full fucking display. Konrad Raab beat me. He had the best damn match he has had in his entire SCW career, just as I said he would. I brought out the best in him.
I don’t repeat that I am the best because I need to hear it. No, I say that I am the best because I am able to do things like I did with Raab. I do that with every opponent, just as I will do with you.
And deep down, you know it to be true. That is why you are clutching to that SCW Championship like the end of the world is upon you. I will show you why I am the best, belt or no belt, Sienna. You claim to be this and that, over and over again, because you need to believe it. You think we all claim you are a joke, that we think you’re a joke of a champion, yet that is just you trying to convince yourself, because you do not believe in yourself when it comes to holding that ten pounds of gold.
Your actions do you no favors whatsoever in that department. That is just the cold hard truth. You make yourself out to be a joke because you chose to go do things with your modeling career, instead of focusing on being the reigning champion, instead of being a defending champion. You disrespected that championship and everyone who has held it, making it the most prestigious title in the history of this entire industry. You cast the SCW and that Championship aside like it was nothing more than a poodle to parade around at fashion shows.
That is why I cashed in on you, Sienna. I wasn’t going to originally. I was going to go for the SCW Adrenaline Championship to see if I could achieve that Supreme Championship. I had ideas to cash in for a battle royal consisting of people who had never held a title in the SCW, or had a shot at the SCW title, to bring in a new fresh face to the main event, but then you did what you did for Under Attack. You spat in the face of Regan and I, plus other champions as I mentioned. You had your greed on full display, since you wanted to play that card and try to use it against me.
You are a façade, Sienna.
A fake.
The world will probably take you seriously as World Champion if you took it seriously. And I am not referring to your own little world, where you surround yourself with ass kissing yes men or should I say women. I am referring to the SCW fan base and the rest of the roster who shake their heads at you. The people you don’t care for but want to worship the very ground you walk on. You can’t have it both ways, Sienna so you need to make up your mind.
And you need to do it. You don’t need the rest of the Beauty Factory to tell you how to think and feel. They kiss your ass which you apparently need desperately, which is why you surround yourself with them. For someone who comes off so confident on camera, you try to smother your insecurities by having a never ending cast of characters at your beckon call. They sing your praises on TV and put that praise into Hashtags on social media. If you didn’t have any of that, you would crumble, as you are unable to survive on your own.
For as good as you are in between the ropes, and you have the record to prove it, along with the accolades, you would falter on your own. You don’t believe in yourself as I said, Sienna. I get that because I’ve been there. I joined with you and Regan because I saw you two as the future of this business. I wanted to make sure that this business’ future was secure, yet you shit all over that, didn’t you?
You just want to be World Champion, so you can be in the spotlight. You don’t want to defend it and represent this company as a wrestler. You’d rather do it simply on your looks on some run way. But that isn’t what this business is about, Sienna and you’re going to learn that this Sunday when we step into the ring for the SCW World Championship. On that night, your mask will fall off and it will be replaced by something.
A genuine expression of pain, because I am going to hurt you, Sienna. Mock me all you want but we both know I’m going to. You are going to be put to the test, Sienna. This is will be the biggest match of your career. It will be like wrestling in the main event of Rise to Greatness, because that is how I treat every match. Use that against me too, but I will live up to my words. If you are going to beat me, then it isn’t going to be easy. I am going to make you regret taking Under Attack off for that bullshit modeling gig and disrespecting that championship. I am going to expose you for the insecure little girl that you are. The same person who didn’t believe in herself to the point she was willing to fuck me for my Trios contract. I will make you regret the greed you showed me when I won the Trios Contract, like I was supposed to give up everything I built and still wanted for your benefit. Had that been the case and you brushed me off like nothing, Past, Present and Future would have broken up a lot sooner because I would have broken your goddamn jaw.
Sunday night, I am coming for the SCW World Championship and I am coming to hurt you. If that means I have to sink my teeth into your eyeball then so be it. You are going to bleed because I am coming to slice up Heaven, and leave you wounded so deeply that this match haunts for you the rest of your days.
I am not a joke and you’re going to be well schooled in that regard. That Championship you hold is not just a trophy to show off to your groupies who jerk off to your pictures online. I am going to either make you or break you. I will either elevate you like you’ve never been elevated before, Sienna or I am going to put you down and take that championship as my own. We will either erase any doubt that you are an insecure little shit who has allowed herself to become a joke of a champion, or you will finally be seen as a true main event performer.
You need this match, Sienna because I will save you. I need this match, because the SCW Championship needs someone who gives a damn about this business, about this sport, carrying it. You may think my time has passed, but I am in the best shape of my life and I am producing classic after classic. You will have your first this Sunday as well.
You can try to give me the kiss of an angel, but I will spit out the taste of desperation before busting your mouth. And the only thing that will ascend is going to be the SCW Championship high above my head, after I have shown you just how far from an angel you are. You will be humanized and humbled, before I put you to sleep.
Sunday night, if you don’t get your head out of your ass, which I highly doubt you will, it is going to be your much needed fall from grace. Taking that entrance ramp will be your descent and when you step into the ring, you will be in Hell, but it will be my own personal playground.
Knock, knock let the devil in…
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