The light was blinding. I blinked a few times as things eventually came into view. I saw a sea of white. I discovered I was lying on my back, not having the slightest clue where I was. I looked to see if I saw Jayden but I didn’t. I told myself that I should be panicking but I wasn’t. In fact, I felt absolutely nothing.
I climbed to my feet as I did after Raab manage to beat me. As I always have after a loss, or when anyone, be it a loud mouth, a God or Devil or even an Angel, has caught me off guard and left me lying in the center of the ring. I noticed that the ground beneath my feet was soft, like walking on a sidewalk made of fluff pillows.
I continued walking, my eyes searching as I tried to take in my surroundings. It was still nothing but white. The white was so bright that I felt that my head was going to start hurting but it didn’t.
“Where the hell am I?” I asked, my voice sort of echoing all around me, as if I were in some sort of room. I told myself that buying drugs from Aries had more than likely resulted in me being put in a padded cell.
“Excuse me,” I suddenly heard call from behind me. The voice cleared its throat as I slowly spun around to find someone staring back at me, “We try to refrain some such language here so if you will please respect the rule.”
I could not believe my eyes as who I was looking at me was me. Exactly identical like looking into a mirror, “Who are you and why do you…”
Whoever he was, he cut me off, “Look like you?”
I stood there for a moment, sizing him up telling myself I needed to attack but my body did nothing, “You can stop with the thoughts of violence,” He said and I was floored, not sure what to think or if I needed to. Not sure of what to do or if I could even do anything.
“Who are you and why do we look alike?”
“That’s simple.”
“If it’s so simple then why don’t I know the answers already?”
He chuckled, “Because you don’t believe.”
“Is this like Being John Malkovich? Did I enter the mind of Selena Frost? I know how she is about believing,” I shot back.
He shook his head, “No my dear boy. You truly have no idea what is going on here do you?”
“No.”
“What is the last thing you remember?”
Images of my jet rushing towards the world below filled my mind. The mangled faces of the pilots followed as well. I looked down at my feet as the images came back to me before I looked up at the other version of myself and I shook my head, “No. It can’t be. It’s not true.”
“Is it not?” He asked.
“Stop speaking in riddles. Tell me what is going on,” I said, wanting to be angry but finding myself unable to do so.
“Tell me...have you tried to feel angry since you woke up here?”
“You already know that,” I stated.
“Precisely,” he said giving a slight smile, “Here there is nothing to feel but joy. Wanting to be violent or angry simply will not happen here.”
I took a few steps closer, “And where is here, exactly?”
His grin faded, “You already know.”
“Just tell me.”
He nodded, “Very well. You’re in Heaven.”
I wanted to laugh because I knew that I normally chuckled at the concept of Heaven or Hell. I didn’t believe either existed, “You’ve got to be joking. This is all a dream, right? I’m going to wake up and I’ll be comfortable in my bed next to some beautiful woman…”
I stopped as his eyes closed and he shook his head, “I’m afraid not. Josh, you didn’t make it out alive with the plane crash. You are in Heaven. I am your spirit, at least the good side of it.”
I stood there. The images flooded my mind once again, “How is that possible?”
“You’ve been a not so good person, am I right?”
“You should know.”
“I do but it’d be a lot better for you if you accepted that.”
I tilted my head to the side, like someone trying to figure something out, trying to see things from a different angle, “And what does that mean exactly? You said I’m in Heaven. If it’s real then things should already be better, correct?”
“You are in Heaven, but…” His voice trailed off for a moment, “That does not mean you’ve been accepted beyond the Golden Gates. That is why I am here. I’m here to help you find acceptance of your sins as well as help you forgive yourself for the sins you’ve committed. And finally, I am here to help you find the belief in Heaven as well as belief in the goodness within you.”
I pointed at him, “And you’re a manifestation of the goodness in me?”
He nodded, “That I am.”
“And if none of that happens...then what?” I asked, “I wake up, surviving my jet crashing so I can have a second chance to better myself? Is that how it works?”
He shook his head, “No. That’s most certainly not how it works. If you do not find acceptance, forgiveness, and belief then you will descend, Josh. You will descend and I will die, as the goodness in you will no longer have purpose.”
“I didn’t think there was any goodness in me,” I said before looking down my feet, sinking into the cushiony white beneath me.
“There is,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, “But you’re running low on time, Josh. You will have to make a decision before the bell tolls and you must face your judgment. If the gatekeeper and God do not sense acceptance, forgiveness, and belief in you then you will fall, Josh. You’ll descend into the depths of the dark.”
“Can you tell me where my son is,” I asked, as an image of Jayden flashed through my head, “I need to know he is safe. He always gave me some small sense of hope.”
“I’m afraid your son is in the dark, Josh. His spirit was broken and defeated. His anger and negativity were too much for him to gain entry here.”
“How is that possible? He was a good kid. He never had a chance,” I stated, suddenly feeling myself grow slightly angry.
I looked up to find the spirit version of me staring back, slightly worried, “I can sense your anger. It means time is almost up, Josh. Your son was unable to be saved but you can most certainly save yourself.”
“You can sense my anger? I’m losing time. Does that mean our connection is diminishing?”
“Yes.”
I nodded, “I guess it’s time I meet this Gatekeeper and have a proper introduction with God,” I said before stepping aside and motioning for him to lead the way. He went to speak but stopped before taking a few steps in front of me and then I followed.
As we made our trek, the white became brighter. This time, my eyes began to hurt and my head began to throb. I was feeling pain, “Why am I feeling pain all of a sudden?”
He glanced at me over his shoulder as he continued to walk, “In the dark…”
“You mean Hell…”
He nodded as he continued, “Yes I do. In Hell, you feel nothing but anger, pain...all negativity. The closer you get to that realm, the more you begin to feel. The more things become different compared to what Heaven truly is.”
“And what is Heaven...truly?” I asked as we continued our journey.
I watched as he looked over his shoulder at me once more, a smile on his face, “Heaven is whatever you make it. Everyone who enters the Golden Gates receive their own personal slice of Heaven so to speak. It is all about living your perfect life, if you will.”
“Meaning?” I asked, now trying not to throw up at the mention of a slice of Heaven, for it reminded me of Sienna Swann.
“Let’s say that if your perfect day was sitting at a concert, your ears being filled with your favorite music, while you were sitting front row watching your favorite band play, then that is what your Heaven would be…”
“Sounds too good to be true,” I said with a slight scoff.
“I can certainly tell you that it is good and that it is true,” my spirit said to me as we walked. We traveled the rest of the way in silence. I stopped in my tracks when I gazed upon a gate, trimmed in gold. It was beautiful and unlike anything I had ever seen before in my life. A line of people were standing there, slowly moving forward, entering a city made of gold as well. Everything beautiful. Everything perfect, “Here we are,” he said.
“These are the Golden Gates?” I asked, pointing towards the scene before me.
“Yes. And,” he said, pointing at the line of people, “This is the soul train as we like to call it.”
“We?” I asked, as I turned and face him.
“Spirits. Angels…” He said, before slowly beginning to back away.
“Where are you going?”
“This is as far as I can go. The rest is up to you. Whatever you decide, you will receive your final judgment once you reach the Gatekeeper,” He replied. I went to say something else, but before the words could escape my throat, he was already walking away, disappearing into the bright white.
I faced forward and waited my turn. I was unsure of how much time had passed, or if time was even a concept at that point, but before I knew it, I was just inches away from the Golden Gates. They looked even more impressive than they did at first glance. The gold reminded me of the SCW World Championship, its trim encircling the plate. I remembered pressing it to my lips the very first time I won the SCW World title. The thought vanished when I heard a voice. A voice that I did not believe I would have ever heard again, “Move forward.”
I was confused as I stared at her, her name leaping off of my lips, “Bree?”
She looked up at me, looking as beautiful as ever, “I am the Gatekeeper. What is your name?”
I was taken aback by her response, but there was part of me that figured it was the same on Earth was it was in Heaven. Bree moved on from me fairly quickly over Sienna. Everyone felt it was betrayal. But just as it was with Bree, the Gatekeeper was full of festiness, straight and to the point, “My name is Josh Hudson.”
She began to flip through some book, the cover made of gold like everything else, the pages as white as the ground beneath us. She flipped through the pages for a few moments before coming to an abrupt halt. Without looking at me, she asked, “Have you found acceptance?”
I said, “No.”
Still not making eye contact, she asked, “Have you found forgiveness?”
“No,” I said but then I asked, “How does one find forgiveness?”
She finally made eye contact, just as Bree did the night in the bar, then the morning after, and each time after that, “Finding forgiveness is you forgiving yourself for all sins. Then asking for forgiveness from God.”
I felt a grin appear across my lips, “With all due respect, I learned a long time ago that there are sins that you commit that one simply cannot come back from. I’ve done that. I know there is no forgiveness. Not from myself and most certainly not God.”
Her eyes grew wide as she stood from her golden chair, showcasing her white gown that Bree would be caught dead in, “You dare come to the Golden Gates and show disrespect? You dare smite your Lord and Savior?”
“I’m just being honest with you, Gatekeeper. I’ve never known God despite the fact I grew up hearing that God was always around. If God was around all of the time then maybe I wouldn’t have turned out the way I did. If anything, God should come to me and apologize. God should ask me forgiveness….”
Before anything else could said, another voice thundered between us, causing those behind me in line to drop to their knees in praise. I stood my ground as I stared ahead. The Golden Gates slowly opened, a beam of light filled the entranceway as a figure walked through the bright white. As the figure drew closer, I could not believe my eyes. I saw her and I called her by name, “Sienna…”
She stopped before me, looking as amazing as ever. Her muscles rippled behind the sexiness she had always presented, “I am your God…” she said, her voice booming with power.
“I have no God,” I boldly stated, “Even if I did, you damn sure would not be it.”
Before I knew it, a gust of wind nailed me in the chest, knocking me to the ground. The ground was no longer soft, but harder than even the oldest of ring canvases I wrestled on when I was first starting out. I looked up to find a golden staff pointed at my chest, as the eyes of Sienna or God glared at me, “You will not disrespect me in my kingdom.”
“He has not found acceptance or forgiveness. He refuses forgiveness, stating you should ask for his forgiveness, my Lord…” The Gatekeeper stated in Bree’s voice.
This God stepped back, lowering the staff, keeping her eyes on me, “You believe I need to ask for your forgiveness, Josh Hudson?”
I went to move, but the staff was pointed at my chest once again. I stopped moving but replied, “I don’t care what you do. I don’t believe in you. You never gave me a reason to believe. Why would I start now?”
Without taking her eyes off of me, God spoke once again, in Sienna’s voice, “So you don’t believe?” I smirked and shook my head as she continued, “You, Josh Hudson, are not worthy to be in my kingdom. You make a mockery of it. That means you make a mockery of me, as I built this kingdom in my image.”
The Gatekeeper stepped forward. All I saw was Bree and Sienna towering over me, like a couple of school girls mocking someone they felt to be beneath them, “What does my Lord command for his soul?”
Without hesitation, God boomed, “He will descend. He will relive his sins as he falls through the abyss, before spending eternity in the dark of Hell.”
“Yes, my Lord…” The Gatekeeper stated before walking back over to the book, writing something down. She then locked eyes with God and nodded. God turned to me and raised her eyes in scorn. The ground beneath me began to shake and crack.
I managed to get to my feet, shoving the staff away. I glared into the eyes of God and said, “I’ve always wanted to do this,” I said before rearing my arm back, balling my fingers into a fist. I went to strike God, but my hand froze just an inch or two from her face. I struggled to push forward, but could not and the ground shook harder, “Fuck you,” I said in response.
God leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Be gone...You are one of the Fallen…” The ground stopped shaking, but opened up and swallowed me whole. And then I fell...I fell forever.
I fell into nothing but blackness. I fell slowly and quietly, sinking more and more into the nothingness around me.
As I fell, something caught my attention. I began to see flashes to the side of me, like shadows bouncing off of a light, dancing on a wall in one’s house. Something was coming to life and my descent began to slow down even more. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing at first, but the longer I watched, the more apparent it became.
I was watching my sins unfold like a movie on the theatre screen.
I saw Chris Lawler and me punishing him in the ring, followed by Trista Foxx and me turning against her. I saw and heard me cutting a scathing promo on Xander Valentine, followed by me costing him a match against Hunter. I watched as I stood side by side with Justin Davis before we put the boots to Glacier. I saw myself shouting at Amber she was chained in my basement. I watched as she cried and pleaded for help, before seeing myself standing with Amber, toying with my once good friend Stetson. I saw myself as I lifted Justin Davis up onto my shoulders before driving my knee into the side of his head. I watched as his lifeless body fell to the entrance stage. I watched as I beat him within an inch of his life before Amber threw in the towel for him. I saw myself torturing the family of my old mentor, Psycho Hood. Fucking his wife and treating her like garbage. Hurting his son and threatening his daughter. Breaking the arm of my former agent and friend, David Dudley. I caught glimpses of me torturing CHBK, Jason Zero, and attacking Jake Starr at various points. I saw myself injuring Asher Hayes multiple times throughout the course of our match before leaving him lying.
I saw myself beating the shit out of Syren from behind, and watching as she lied motionless on the floor, the blood pouring from the back of her head. I saw myself attacking CHBK and Alexis Quinne. I saw Regan and I on the gym floor. I saw us in the bathroom. Sienna wrapping her long leg around me as she shoved her tongue down my throat. I saw the bulge growing in my pants as the thoughts I had of fucking both of them flashed onto the screen. I saw me lying to Rachel. I heard the lies and they echoed in my head, causing me great pain. I tried to scream but nothing came out as I continued to fall. I saw myself attacking Xander once again, followed by Selena Frost. I saw me attacking Justin Davis and hurting Chris Cannon. I saw it all. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. My eyes were glued to my sins as they unfolded.
And then I saw Jayden. It was a reminder of our last few arguments when he had questioned me about his mother. My lies echo in my head, feeling like my brain was ready to combust and the screen froze, before it seemed things were going in reverse, like a VHS tape being rewound. It was like I was reliving every moment, every lie, every sin in reverse, before it finally stopped. I saw myself getting out of the car and staring at a house. As soon as I saw the house, I knew what sin I was being subjected to. A sin I had tried to bury. A sin I had never had the balls to confront. A sin that I could no longer outrun.
It was the night of the incident. The night Jayden was put into a coma.
I wanted to look away but couldn’t. All I could do was watch it unfold. The noise became louder, like sitting in a movie theatre, right next to the speakers. I heard every crunch of my footsteps as I made my way up to Amber’s front door.
I let out a few sighs, my thoughts of anger playing out before my very eyes. I was so pissed at her. I wanted her to be hurt. I hated Amber. There was a thought that crossed my mind, wishing she would have just died. I shook my head that night before knocking on her door. It took a few moments before Amber opened the door. I could tell she had been crying. She looked like a mess, but she brushed her hair to the side before stating, “I’m glad you came.”
“Let’s get this over with,” I had shot back before making my way inside of the house.
She led me upstairs, looking at Jayden who was busy doing his homework in between watching TV. Once upstairs, we were in her bedroom. Amber closed the door behind us and turned to face me. She let out a sigh as I asked, “So, what the fuck am I here for? You need to cut to the chase so I can get the fuck home, Amber. I told you that I don’t have time for this.”
Amber looked down for a few moments, “I know that you do, Josh. I know you have a life away from all of this. I know you have a wife. I know you have so many wonderful things going on and I have tried to remember that. I have done all that I can to stay strong enough to not say a word to you, but I’ve lost all of my strength. I know that I can no longer avoid telling you,” she said, finally looking back up at me, looking like she was once again fighting back tears.
“Tell me what,” I said with the anger and frustration was alive and well in my voice, “Are you going to tell me that Davis is a piece of shit and won’t take care of his son? If that is the case then please save it. I have supported the hell out of that kid…out of you…and even Davis…I’ve kept you and your son financially stable just to keep you quiet…But now,” I had said, grinding my teeth together, “That is becoming too much for me to ask. My money isn’t good enough to keep you off of my back…So what is it? Do you want more money? Is that what this is about?”
Amber went to speak but I cut her off instantly, “I am not going to give you more. You’re lucky I’ve given what I have up to this point,” I said as my voice grew louder, “You should ask that fucking deadbeat Davis to get off of his lazy ass to help take care of you and your son. The two of you are Justin’s family and his responsibility. Not mine. I’ve tried helping you but you’ve taken advantage of what little bit of a soft heart that I have…”
And then she spoke, her words shutting me up real quick as she stated, “Jayden is not Justin’s son. He is not his responsibility. He is yours…”
I stood there for a few moments, my anger not knowing whether to subside or worsen as I asked, “What the hell are you talking about, Amber?”
She shook her head and wiped her eyes, “Jayden isn’t Justin’s son. He is your son, Josh. He is your son…that is what I’ve been trying to tell you…”
“How the fuck did this happen…”
“It was that night in the hotel…when I came to see you after the show…When we fucked…the night you kicked me out,” she stated. I remembered it well. Davis and I were trying to be friends once again. As the memory of my conversation played out on one screen, another screen popped up, showing me the night we had sex in the hotel and how I became violent towards her, kicking her out like she was nothing more than garbage. Another sin.
I looked back at the first screen as I continued to slowly fall, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Amber. Tell me you are fucking lying! Tell me!” I shouted, but all she could do was shake her head.
“I’m not joking, Josh! He is your son…” Amber stated before burying her face in her hands. I stood there for a few moments, my muscles pulsating as my shoulders moved up and down in a rapid motion. The expression of my face was nothing less than seething.
“Fuck this,” I said, “This is bullshit,” I stated before moving towards the door. Amber stepped in front of me, trying to block me from leaving, “Move Amber, or I will move you myself,” I said, as my fingers clenched into fists, “Move Amber…I’m not going to tell you again,” I said as I glared into her eyes, but she did not back down. Amber stood her ground.
“Don’t do this, Josh! Please don’t do this…”
I exhaled deeply, “How long have you known, Amber. Tell me that,” I said, glancing at my fists which were shaking. I looked back up at her and said, “Fucking tell me that. How fucking long have you known? Has it been weeks…months…years…” She said nothing more a few moments. That pissed me off even more, to the point where I reached up and grabbed her by her arms, “How…long…” I hissed, squeezing her arms as tightly as I could, “How long!!!” I shouted.
She tried to struggle to break free but my grip was too much. She felt brittle in my hands, like I could crush her and I fucking wanted to. She released a wail before looking up at me and saying, “I’ve known for years, Josh…I didn’t know the entire time, but I was always curious…I found out he wasn’t Justin’s and you were the last person I slept with besides him…”
“Shut up!” I shouted before shoving her into the door. I then grabbed her and slung her to the floor before reaching for the door handle. I turned, glaring at her once more, “This is bullshit and you know it! You can’t just fucking waltz back into my life and tell me some shit like this. You can’t and I refuse to believe it,” I then stepped out of the room and made my way down the hallway corridor, with a sobbing and seemingly frantic Amber in hot pursuit.
“Josh,” she called out after me, grabbing at my arms, shoulders, and hands…each time I jerked away with relative ease, fighting the thoughts running through my mind to throw her down the fucking stairs, “Stop…please stop…”
I finally turned and pointed my finger at her, waving it in front of her face, “Get the hell back, Amber…Stay the fuck away from me.”
As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I saw a glare in her eye and then she reacted, slapping me across the face. I stood there for a few moments, trying to process what had just happened. Before I knew it, I reached over and grabbed Amber, shoving her into the wall. I held her there for a few moments, thinking about hitting her but I didn’t. I shook her before turning and heading down the stairs.
She screamed at me and shouted at me, calling me every single name in the book but I didn’t care. I was fucking pissed and part of me felt that I had every single right to be. I reached the bottom of the first set of steps before I heard a cry of fury before feeling weight crashing down on my back. Amber had jumped on top of me and she began to hammer away at the back of my head, her fingernails digging into my flesh as I tried to fight her off. I could not shake her so I grabbed one of her legs and placed my hand behind her back before driving her into the wall. My head bobbed up and down upon impact and I caught a glimpse of Jayden getting up from the floor and making his way towards the stairwell.
Amber released her hold on me and slumped to the floor. I rubbed a little bit of blood from my eye as her nails sliced the skin of my forehead. I looked at her and knelt down, reaching out wanting to strangle the very life out of her, but I didn’t. All I could do was speak, “What the fuck are you doing, Amber? You don’t need to do that shit in front of your son,” I hissed, feeling a rage surge through me as I thought about my father striking my mother in front of my siblings and I.
“You’re such a piece of shit, Josh! You don’t even know to be a parent!” She shouted, “How dare you try and tell me what to do around my son…” She snickered, “Our son…”
I reached down and grabbed her, jerking Amber to her feet and pushing her into the wall once again, pointing my finger in her face as I glared at her, “You don’t get to talk to me like that! You’re the one who withheld this from me! You have no right to be angry. If either of us has any right to be pissed off, it’s fucking me…”
She exposed her teeth to me like a wild animal preparing to defend itself. It caught me off guard and I stepped back. Amber pushed herself off of the wall and lunged forward at me, swinging blindly. I managed to grab her arms, holding them down at her side. Amber tried to head butt me, but I blocked it with my shoulder. I went to say something but before I could, I felt a pressure against the back of my head. I blinked as things started to go black. I shook my head and kept blinking, trying to keep myself awake when I felt more pressure against the back of my head.
My body reacted in the only way it knew how, by defending itself, attacking. My left arm moved and my elbow caught something hard. Felt like a jaw. Before I knew it, a thudding sound began to hammer down in my ears. Amber’s eyes had grown wide and I quickly turned to find Jayden falling down the stairs, hitting each one with the back of his head, before finally landing on the floor below.
The memory continued on the screen, showing Amber trying to attack me and me having to defend myself. Once she was incapacitated, I called the police, my mind going back and forth, trying to come up with a story, reminding myself how I had a reputation, a career, a fucking legacy, to protect. Not once did I seem to give a damn about the well-being of Jayden.
More of the memory flashes before me, showing me standing out with the police and paramedics. Me at the mental institute, talking trash to Amber and getting her to attack me. The talks with Jayden as he lied in a coma, the meeting with Aiken about trying to manipulate Jayden’s mind just to keep my lie alive. I saw the images of me talking with Dr. Vaughn before Amber received the electro shock therapy and then the memory faded as the screen turned to black.
I looked back up, seeing the hole from which I feel slowly starting to close. I could see God in Sienna’s image and the Gatekeeper in Bree’s form staring down at me, judgment radiating off of their eyes as they watching my descent, with the hole continuing to close, until there was no God. No Gatekeeper. No final glimpse of Heaven.
I finally felt my back press against something. It was soft. It was hard. My fingers touched whatever it was and as soon as my skin pressed against it, I knew what it was.
It was bone.
Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I saw that I had landed on a sea of skulls. I started to move, to climb off of them, but I suddenly realized that I was sinking. I tried to fight, to get away, but the harder I fought, the more I tried to escape, the quicker I sank. Before I knew it, my arms and legs were buried underneath the skulls. My torso drifted, becoming covered in bone. I opened my mouth to yell, to curse God but no sound came out. I stared up where Heaven was supposed to be, seeing the nothingness as my face suddenly became one with the skulls and then, I was no longer falling.
I was floating, my body moving upwards. I saw another light shaping above me, and the closer I got to it, the hotter everything around me became.
Pain began to shoot through my body, mixing in with the heat, and with the way things were going, I realized where I was headed.
Hell.
____________________________________________________
As humans, we live. We breathe. We eat and sleep. We create, as well as destroy. And then…and then, we die. I am forty-one years old. I have lived quite the life. I have breathed my fair share of this world’s air, filling my lungs with the pollution, as well as whatever drugs I could have gotten my hands on. I have tasted the finest of foods as well as sipped from many golden cups filled to the brim with water and wine. I have created many things in my time.
I have created life. Yes, I have two children, both boys. I have created, and while I have not been the best father, I have ensured that both of my children have survived the harsh realities of this world. I have ensure that they have enjoyed what lives they do have and so much more. But not only have I created life, I have created a legacy for myself in this business, in the world of professional wrestling, a world I have fought for over half of my life.
I have created a legacy. I’ve traveled the world, learning new skills to add to my repertoire, perfecting my craft, becoming better and better through each beating I have survived, in each beating I have dished out. I have acquired accolade after accolade, generated historic moment after historic moment. I have catalogues of five star and five star plus classic matches worthy of the Rise to Greatness main event. I have stolen the show more times than anyone can count, ensuring that I will go down as one of the best, if not the greatest, wrestler of all time.
I have earned that title by battling Gods and Devils. I have earned it by facing Heroes of Time as well as Phoenixes rising from the ashes. I have overcome heartbreaking obstacles and attempted executions. I had to become truly tactical in my warfare as I faced Goddesses, Loud Mouths, Czars of shooting stars, as well as Thorns. I have faced Dangerous men who want to give you more Bang for your buck, and I’ve overcome them. I have faced Pennsylvanian Sensations and lasted longer in this business. I have faced Shingamis and left them lying in a heap of broken bones. I have faced Modern Day Gods and thanked them for coming. I have faced men of Dillusion as well as those claiming to be Extraordinary or World Class, outlasting them as well.
I have done this on different continents, becoming Champion of Television, the United States, an InterContinental Champion, as well as fighting alongside others, becoming champions of a tag team division, and not to mention championing the World in various promotions a total of nine times. I’ve never taken hold of the flame, or risen to greatness. I proved that I’ve always held the flame within and that I became greatness in the process. I have truly done it all and now, I look ahead to do it one more time.
And in doing so, as I’ve created, I have also destroyed.
I have destroyed the lives of my children, by being probably the shittiest father one could think of. I get it honest. I can’t lie there. I learned from the best. Hey pops!
I have destroyed many careers, breaking bones and shattering the dreams of my opponents, simply because I can. Because I have wanted this for as long as I can remember. But not only that, I’ve destroyed relationship after relationship. I ruined Anthony “Glacier” Thomas’ relevancy by dropping him like a bad habit. I did the same with Justin Davis. I’ve ruined the relationship with the mother of my first born son, because I chose wrestling over family. Hell, I destroyed my marriage to Rachel Tatum Lee because Regan Helms and Sienna Swann being attractive as fuck and I wanted to sample the goods. I’ve been around many women in my time on the road and I’ve shared beds with women I knew and that I didn’t know, except for one night. I was Blake Mason before Blake Mason knew what a vagina was.
I’m no angel, that’s for damn sure.
I’ve done terrible things, destroying so much throughout my walk of life, because I’ve wanted to be the best. Because I have devoted my life to professional wrestling. It is the most important thing to me. I would deliver the Kingdom Come to my grandmother if it meant solidifying my position as the best. Does that make me an asshole? Guilty…guilty as charged. I’ve never been a nice person. I could never claim to be. Like I said, I’m no angel.
I’m flawed. I’m human.
Wrestling is truly all I will ever have in this life and I’m more than okay with that. I’m not some model, because to me, that is just a bunch of stupid goddamn shit. When it comes to that, you’re not really valued. People just want to see you naked or close to it so they can jerk it a few times, or finger bang themselves, until someone far prettier comes along. Models are expendable. But in wrestling, you prove your fucking worth every single time you step in between those ropes. To me, nothing else really matters.
I truly live and breathe this business. Even if it has cost me some morality points. I’m not sad about that. I’ve made choices and I have dealt with the guilt I’ve felt and then, and then I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on, acquiring more accolades, stealing more shows, becoming better and better, solidifying the fact that I am truly going to be everlasting throughout the hallowed halls of this industry. My name may not always be heard the loudest, but it is still spoken. And why is that? It’s because I am not some one- dimensional fresh out of the factory clone, that litters the pro wrestling industry. I’m not part of some group where everyone is basically the same, but with a different name, and different nickname in hashtags. I’m not some dime a dozen competitor. I’m not some who steps away and is forgotten, because someone just like me walks in and takes my place. I am someone who can step away for years…for years and my presence is still felt. I am missed because I am one of a kind, because win or lose, love me or hate me, I have always respected this business.
I’m not some past you can simply erase.
I am the past, present, and the future…because everything that I have done in my career…has been to elevate this business. No one has done it quite like me.
I have saved this company more times than I can remember, because other superstars who claimed to be Gods or Devil…superstars who were deemed big bad boogeymen…heartbreakers, heroes…legends…they all stepped away. They all faltered. They have all been handed the goddamn keys to the kingdom on a silver platter, while I sacrificed and worked my way from the bottom, reaching the top every single time…becoming the true epitome of SCW, becoming the one constant in this company since 2003, being there for every show while under contract, showing for every match I was booked to compete in, dropping a promo each and every time to make sure that match was seen as important, to show that I gave a damn about it, about this company, and about this business.
Tell me otherwise and I will call you a liar before breaking your fucking jaw and it wouldn’t matter if you were Selena Frost or Syren. I have never done anything to gain anyone’s approval in this business. I have busted my ass for my entire career, losing so much but gaining a lot more.
You don’t have to like it or agree, but them is just the facts.
Another fact, Sienna…I am coming for the SCW World Championship and I am going to take it from you. You are a main event performer. I won’t deny that. I never could even if I wanted to. But the main event you are in, I kept it going for the longest time. I kept the main event live while so many others stepped away, or just quit showing up. The SCW is still around because of someone like me, because it was close to death several times but I was always there, like an angel giving it the healing touch.
You and I are going to be in the main event. Sunday night, you will earn your true main event stripes, against a true main eventer, a true legend, a true Icon in this business, the backbone of the industry, and the real iron man of this sport. None of what I am saying is a gimmick. It is just the cold hard fucking truth. Just as it is cold hard truth that you are going to have to use much more than that ass that doesn’t quit, or those eyes…or whatever you can put next to a hashtag on Twitter to beat me.
You are going to have to do much more than repeat that Angels rise to beat me as well. You can repeat it until you are blue in the face, but it won’t change the facts. Sunday night, I am taking back what I helped build, what I helped create and elevate, by destroying all that I can about you.
No comments:
Post a Comment